May 02, 2010

Everything Is Just Not Right... isn't it ? plus : I can't bare with HOMESICKNESS !

I don't know. My current life is full of wrongs. Too many I shouldn'ts just drive me crazy. Sometimes, I need somebody to counsel and brighten me up, but it's hopeless. I'm writing this, minutes before going back to MRSM. Life there could be really boring and annoying eventhough I'm in everything. It's just not same as my previous life in MRSM PT. I know it sounded cliche but that's reality bite for me now. I am now at the fullest insanity.

Sometimes, I'd tought it's better not going to school, being a normal (you know, daily schools are just fine) and have my life like any other teens. My life is awfully boring and I miss my mate, Zulfakar so much. Friends there don't share interests as mine. They're all cute and nice, but that's not what I want. OMG, wanna be at home ! Feels like flying to Rom and have weeks spent there. I'm so sick. I need therapy. Even Miley's songs couldn't cheer me up.

I just to end it up. A year and a half to end it up. Better bear with it, break a leg, and straight A plusses will make me relieving the breath I hold so long. My God, wanna end this up ! QUICKLY ! I don't wanna go to school !!!

One more thing, thing that made me angry when there's no teacher coming to class, one day. So I decided to just TAKE A NAP, NOT SLEEP, just for secs, but after some times, there was a teacher coming to my class and cynically sounded me up. It's my mistake actually for wrongly saying that I sleep at 12. It's not. I slept at2 and woke at 6. It's just because I finished my homework. She said to me in front of the class; Look at others , they aren't sleeping. Did you also sleep in previous MRSM Pasir Tumboh ? I've got no idea how did she know it. But she sounded so cynical that I'm angry at that time. She looked at my name tag and said, where's your songkok.. ? OOwwhhh... come to PC wanna change image ... eh ? That hurts me the most. I just dislike when someone tried to talk to my personal things that I dont really comfy to talk. I think she got her kids studied in PT and she knew me (cz Im famous so what ?). I don't know but she sounded so rebellious and cynical. I hope that's just my feeling. Truly, I'm hurt eventhough it's just a very small thing that one should'nt make it big. But, by hook or by crook, I'm hurt, cause I'm not a robot. I'm not sleeping lah ! I'm just taking a nap when the teachers are not around ! Taking a nap by 15 minutes enhance productivity by 23 percent ! I'm not taking it for 15 minutes but just some secs. Moreover I don't sleep in class- when teachers are teaching - like everybody did. I DON'T !!!

Ahhh... Just forget about it. Maybe it was just my feeling that I shouldnt get trapped into it. I believe everything happens for a reason. Btw, I'm still full of homesickness. After this, going back to PC, and it's sick !

p/s : Can't wait going to Jeli for MB.
p/s/s : Love my homeroom teacher so much. Ms Nurun Nazneen.