March 13, 2012

Treasuring the Past, Appreciating the Present

It’s been a while since I last wrote on this blog. Time is not the issue, but sometimes, when I'm on net, something drags me not to write on this blog. My moods and the Facebook, maybe. I'm going to do a bit of re-branding to this blog because when I scrolled down to all my previous posts, damn, I went “What the hell did I write”, ‘Oh shit, do anyone see this” and all sorts. Now, I'm 17, have just finished my Malaysian Certificate of Education (SPM) and am now waiting anxiously for the result to be unveiled. I have to confess. My two years in MRSM Pengkalan Chepa have been the most imperishable and momentous memories in my life. I'm just so grateful that I made full avail of my time there at MRSM PC, and being an MRSM student for 5 consecutive years, which obviously occupied my whole secondary education, I cannot help myself but to feel gratified. Rewinding back times, 5 years ago, when the admission offer to MRSM went viral, and I was one to be in the system, my mom persuaded me not to go. She insisted me to stay close with her. I resisted. I wanted to go to MRSM badly and to be in a boarding school. I don’t know, but that enthralled me much.

MRSM Pasir Tumboh marked my first eye-opening experience. I've never heard of its creepy name before, but the moment I arrived there with bunch of my jovial family members, I had lots of butterflies in my stomach as this would be a journey of a thousand miles, I bet. But looking to most of the MRSM educators there; smiling warmly, greeting with the fullest hospitality, I knew that I was just going to do fine there. I would just be okay. It’s been an MRSM culture for the seniors to assist the freshmen with their massive luggage and stuff, and I was thrilled to see many of them were all willing to help me. My parents can just hope for the best.

Three years in MRSM Pasir Tumboh stored some of the precious moments I treasured till now. Annoyingly, one thing I used to dislike about MRSM Pasir Tumboh, was none other than some of its students. All of them were from Kelantan and some of them were really, pure, Kelantanese who spent most of their lifetime in the countryside, being unexposed. That doesn’t bother me much, but what irked me during those times was their resistance towards change. Changing doesn’t mean you wholly transform yourself to be someone else, hell no. But most of them, through my observance, had no even infinitesimal realization when it came to things like volunteerism, leadership, innovation, you know, acting and thinking differently, they just say no (which apparently seemed to be totally opposite to me). But these happened to just some of them, not all. Perhaps there were some of them who wanted to change, but maybe because of their close peers’ influences, they were willing to say no to change rather than losing their conceited scumbags. Note that, when I mention “to change”, it doesn’t convey the meaning that you’ll turn to be a paragon of virtue, or an angel. It’s just your sheer willingness to be more open-minded and respect the others’ points of view. Your willingness to change just some parts of yourself for the better. Some of them were sometimes worse than a first grade student. They would just boo you when you tried to to voice out during assemblies, you know, shit like that. But those were all histories, that I wish won’t daunt me.

I love the fact that I made most of my closest peeps in my life at MRSM Pasir Tumboh. MRSM Pasir Tumboh had a number of great, lovely teachers I could not find elsewhere. What touched my deep hearts’ core with these people was that, they’ve been more than teachers. They couldn’t care less with the salary and pays. They’re just my best friends. When I had something to talk or things to do, I could always count on my teachers there, as they really listened. I was very mischievous. The moments I had free time, I would always fly to the Staff Room to find some cool teachers to talk to. They were really cool to that extent.

At MRSM Pasir Tumboh too, I managed to deal with things I hate. In my primary schools, talking in front of the class scared me to the limit, and I constantly refused to volunteer when teachers asked something in classes. The situation was very different in MRSM Pasir Tumboh. There were a plethora of chances that were readily open for me, you know, things like Public Speaking, Debate, Choral Speaking and all those stuff that require a bit of your self-esteem and confidence. I could just simply count the numbers of people who wanted to be in, trust me, only very few people who were interested. So I thought, let’s try. I believed if I didn’t make use of these chances, then I won’t do it for the rest of my life. It befuddled me to know the fact that I was performing better in my English than my own native tongue, Bahasa Melayu, so I decided to go for an English debate.

MRSM Pengkalan Chepa was my next stop. Albeit of its location which is in Kelantan, but I loved the fact that not all of the students were Kelantanese, so I could see variation and colors. This upper primary education was far cooler as the learning, social environments were just totally different. One thing I enjoyed the most at MRSM PC, was none other than the students who most of them happened to be my closest friends. Because we’re all grown up (huh) so I think the freedom in MRSM PC was one of the criteria I enjoy. Being one of the Student’s Representatives Council was one of the best experiences in my life, and the bestest thing was that I was in the Information and Communication Bureau. I had the best workmates or so-called subordinates who apparently become the most influential people in my life till now.

I have the coolest Vice President, the hottest Secretary, the craziest Financial Manager, the moronic Media Committee, the weirdest Bulletin Editor, the healthiest Multimedia Committee, the come-and-go Creative Art Director, the sexually-addicted Publicity Committee, and the two hot and cold rascals, Din and Nash who apparently seemed to be just fine. I just love these people.

I dislike books, revision and early studies. My entire 2-year life in MRSM PC was filled with non-academic stuff like making videos (God, this was damn overstraining). I've never regret to be a part of MAKOM (Malay abbreviation for Maklumat dan Komunikasi). There were like overabundance of things to do daily; Distributing the papers, playing the Seeds on (maybe you don’t get this, but just read), updating the college bulletin, etc. They were really hard and sometimes, I just couldn’t believe that we managed to do that good haa haa. Here it comes, my criticizing moments; sometimes I wondered, yes it’s true that we did things very sincerely, but deep inside my heart’s core, I think we were damn qualified to receive some recognitions and appreciation from the college management. We just received some commendation and applaud for our work, and that was it. So did the BWPs. Yes, it’s sincerity that matters but sometimes we felt “Ok we’re done and we get nothing” although most of our immense works were actually coming from them. But never mind, we’re just happy and that counts profoundly.

These are the Students' Representative Council of MRSM PC Session 1011. I'm telling you, we have the retarded President ever! 

So the SPM arrived and it left me clueless until now. I was thunderstruck in an utter silence. Sometimes, I think it was okay, but sometimes I think the opposite. I'm just having my fingers crossed and hoping for the best for the result.

I have the weirdest interests in career-related fields; I like both Engineering and Medicine, which seemed to be totally opposite. Engineering seems to be more logic-oriented while Medicine requires your sheer soul and the inner you, your authentic passion. So I got an offer for an American Degree Transfer Program, which is on Computer Engineering. I just could not say no, so here I am at the INTI International University somewhere in Nilai, Negeri Sembilan which are some blocks away to Kuala Lumpur. When I first came, I just wanted to scream, ‘I WANNNNNNAAAAA GOOOOOO BACKKKKK!!!’. I couldn’t contain the feeling of woe and sorrow as I was enormously beleaguered with the feeling of homesickness and the fear of losing my favorite TV shows like American Idol and How I Met Your Mother. But then, after a week, I started to feel just a little okay. First month being here was for me, a total vacation. I just made my life full of laughter and funnest things.

One thing which is a real defiance for me is actually the fact that I was wrongly placed in different classes. Being one of the MARA scholars, I'm supposed to be in classes where majority of the students are also MARA scholars who take the same major, but that doesn’t happen to me. In every class of mine, the students keep changing. In Chemistry Class, all of them are Chinese and private students; in Calculus class, most of them are MARA scholars whose major are Biotechnology and Biochemistry; in English class, all of them are students majoring in Psychology and at most of the time, I was a lone ranger, being the only one who majors in Engineering. But fortunately, everything just goes fine and smooth. Here, majority of the students are Chinese and they are just cool. But one thing that depresses me is that, 95% of them speak in Chinese so this means I have no room for interruption! I have to come up with a new topic (obviously in English) so I can talk more with them, but this happens very little as I don’t have much time with this kind of chit-chats. In Chemistry experiment class for instance, I am the only Malay, while the rest are Chinese. I was like, greeeeennn with envy that they do jokes, play prank on each other while I seemed to just watch, wordlessly, as I don’t know, what are they talking about. I think if they speak more in English, that would be better. Many non-scholar Malays in most of my classes are fine, but only God knows, they seem to look arrogant and they just don’t talk much. Some of them speak, but because they are sophomores and seniors, they speak more among themselves. I’m just hoping to interrupt, “Hey you have a nice ass”, “hey lets go for lunch”,  “hey wanna date?’, you know, just to show my true colors. But, it’s just simply awkward. I hope this won’t be too long as I cannot bear myself, being silent.

The rest here is just fine. I love English class. My professor is very outspoken but yet, I enjoy when he talks about his experiences in UCLA and all that stuff. I don’t know, I will just smile broadly. My Calculus lecturer is the liveliest, most carefree teacher I've ever had. He’s just insanely funny, and despite being a pure Chinese, his Bahasa is damn good! My Chemistry lecturer is very cute that sometimes I could not concentrate in class because of her cuteness. I’ll just watch her, ignoring what she writes on the board.

My new crushes at INTI.

So far, I think my life at INTI is just damn fun, good, nice, “mmm okay laa”, as my Chinese friends call it. I wish I could just stay here as sometime; I start to feel attached and belonged here. Everything depends on my SPM result, if it is okay, my mom suggests me to jump out for overseas Medicine, but in a worst-case scenario, I’d just stick as a computer engineering student at INTI, just like my friends suggest. Being a computer geek, I'm obviously agog with things related to computer. For my next post, I'm going to reduce stuff related to me and my life, and I will write more on tech and my opinions on them.