September 18, 2013

Of dreams, fear and unforeseen things

As much as I’m fond of the saying, “forget the future; enjoy the present”, putting my whole faith in it for every millisecond is a different level for future has always been my biggest fear in both good and bad ways. It’s good to be fearful of the future as it gives you the rush of adrenaline in your very eureka moments that makes you suddenly dream and try to dictate what lies ahead of you and instantly project a crisp blueprint in your brain which lays out specific missions and visions and it’s almost an ecstasy that is so exciting, knowing you’ll thrive and flourish. But sometimes, the worst is when you’re abruptly beleaguered with futuristic insecurity as I like to call it, having all these pictures of what keeps you going screaming at you to be flawless and to never tumble and the experience is so threatening that your ­­­­brain focuses more on it, leaving all your reveries and blueprints aforesaid in treachery.

Occasionally, I dream too big to an extent that it evokes a self-assessment which I sometimes fail, reprimanding me with doubts and questions which take time travels and the power of reincarnation to answer. I dream too big to an extent that I forget the present and keep on foreseeing, envisaging, and dwelling the further – the future. I dream too big to an extent that I idolize no one. I dream too big to an extent that the fear cannot be dismissed and some of my nights are entirely occupied with wild dreams filled with Don Draper’s quotes and uncanny feelings accompanied by a series of heart pounding, throat thickening, gut clenching and blood streaming. I dream too big to an extent that I feel that I should stop doing that and start appreciating what people call “little things” more.

But I keep on dreaming. To hell with corniness but I think, dream is a virtue as we don’t dream just for us. We dream for others too. We dream to stop the international rivalries that cost the death of the civilians, we dream that we can aid those who are consistently under bomb blasts and nuclear missiles, we dream that one day we’ll find the patent to combat AIDS, we dream that we’ll be able to give the homeless needs and shelters, we dream that the socioeconomic gap can be narrowed down and more people can savor what the world has to offer, we dream that one day we’ll overthrow the reign and make people dance and sing, we dream that one day we can build countless fancy penthouses for our parents and families, we dream that one day, people know we matter and our existence leaves something to them: imperishable sparks that make those who frown smile and those who cry laugh.

One thing I like being a student, other than going maniac in class and breaking some rules is the fact that I feel so divinely righteous. I suppose as students, at high schools or colleges, we are constantly besieged with this sense of responsibility for ourselves, for our parents, for our religion, for our country and it becomes the very reason why we do the things we do. We go to library to study and after some time, our eyes turn bleary but we keep on studying. We make it sure that coffee is in our shopping list so we can work on some physics tutorials at night. We temporarily put social sites to a hiatus so we can save up some time to put our body to rest. At high schools, we nonchalantly read history text books during monthly assemblies but yet are able to concurrently feign laughing when the principal crack some dry jokes. We coerce ourselves to attend a Chemistry revision class when we can actually condone the temptation to sleep cosily in room. We do exercises and past year papers repeatedly even though they revolve around similar things. To a certain extent, I actually feel that we’ve made a very profound amount of sacrifices which are not easy. We’ve been through hell and have come across both the expected and unexpected things. We’ve been through a path where some have relinquished while some won’t even dare to dream of.

We are actually pretty good.

One thing about dreaming is that, it can be the God’s bestest and worst gift at the same time. Dreaming is amazing as it takes nothing but the will to close your eyes and you’re suddenly the protagonist in a realm where everyone is the king and queen and anything contradicting to the mainstream logic occurs. Dreaming is sometimes aggravating as it creates insecurities, dragging you to a loop where all around you is fear that makes you oblivious with the present, winding you up in a coma where you yourself can’t fathom. But the worst part is always when your biggest fear materializes into reality; pushing you to a state where most people think suicide is the only legitimate way out.

When life decides to turn something out unexpected by putting our soul to a test, the first thing to ponder is that the most remembered people are those who endure and overcome the strongest hiccups. Problems are not always bad, sometimes they are blessings. You will not be good in math if you are only given easy questions and keep on getting perfect scores. You need some errors, some problems so you’ll learn and you’ll better. And when you think you’re at your lowest, search for a psychological help; seek like-minded people whom you think can cheer you up effortlessly, perhaps who can make you smile just by recalling their faces. Indulge yourself by momentarily forgetting your calories calculator and the fact that you are vegetarians and take some time to eat anything edible. Watch your favorite Harold and Kumar trilogies, The Legend of Ron Burgundy or anything that can make you laugh. Motivate yourself by thinking of great success stories like Steven Spielberg being declined his application to film school three times; the KFC founder, Harland David Sanders being initially rejected  from 1000 restaurants, Einstein who couldn't speak until age four and can't read until age seven and was labeled dumb and mentally handicapped. Sometimes, there is a world-renowned counsellor deep inside you. Once you’ve achieved a level where you feel where you’re grounded to, then formulate your new agenda. Kick ass. Blossom. Achieve your goal. Make other kids feel bad.

As someone whose dream is nothing but to leave footprints in the sands of time and simply to make the world a better place to live in, just remember that we are always rooting for each other. We will stand up tall and be utterly in charge of everything we want to do. We are the captain of our souls. We’ll create nothing but awe-inspiring, inexplicably wondrous, extraordinary things in the future. We are destined for greatness. Should something unanticipated turn out, remember that is just a part of life. A small irregularity will not deter our visions and will not hinder our longings and dreams which transcend the universe. The most important thing is to always give ourselves a pat on the back and to remember whatever we do, we are good.